You should work on your animotos. Be sure to bring your flash drive if you have not downloaded all your pictures for your animoto project. We are working on our projects tomorrow. Make a page under Language Arts on your website and copy your passion project criteria onto your website under Language Arts - Passion project drop down. Now that we have learned the various poetic devices, we can practice writing our own poems. We also are going to practice giving helpful feedback to our classmates. Your poetry homework tonight: • type your 5-line personification poem and 4-line poem showing any device. • give feedback to at least one classmate, tell them what you notice about their poem, give them a helpful suggestion if you have one. • also see if you can guess which poetic device people used for their 4-line poem. Reading: Wonder will be tomorrow...bring stickies. Questions that I have Wows, what strikes me as interesting or intriguing Images created in my mind Language that is exquisite
76 Comments
Mr. Muffin
1/17/2013 07:01:35 am
As the clouds crawl across the sky,
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Mr. Muffin
1/17/2013 07:02:53 am
Sorry... on first poem there's an enter after mind. and before alligator.
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theboss
1/17/2013 08:04:21 am
Well the Pegasus poem is not really the image I want to have but it is an example of alliteration. The general tone is light and humerous because of your content.
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MrCookie
1/17/2013 10:56:23 am
I love it, but when you are nameing things ("An alligator, a bear..ect")
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Mr. Muffin
1/17/2013 01:27:31 pm
Thanks.. I noticed it got boring when I was saying a bunch of animals of animals and things. I would be interested in giving a specific name to the guy like Coby Brians (the basketball guy) or what ever his name is.
mrcoolman
1/17/2013 07:23:54 am
The sun
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redpython
1/17/2013 08:06:18 am
hi mrcoolman
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Mew
1/17/2013 08:14:19 am
I agree with redpython, You should use more poetic devices. Maybe you should try a rhyming poem with alliteration in it as well to challenge yourself.
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Tweetiegal
1/18/2013 12:12:26 am
I think your second poem was nice but your first one didn't have very much poetic devices. I also think Mew is right don't be afraid to challenge your self.
eeyore
1/17/2013 09:45:05 am
I love your poems, but maybe you should try and add to your 2nd poem like.....more interesting words
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Mew
1/17/2013 10:59:38 am
I also agree with eeyore, the second poem could be a bit more interesting as well as my first comment.
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the boss
1/19/2013 04:23:35 am
Mr. Coolman,
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mrcoolman
1/17/2013 07:26:23 am
good job mr.muffin
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theboss
1/17/2013 08:07:56 am
Mr. Coolman,
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redpython
1/17/2013 07:59:54 am
personification
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sonic
1/17/2013 01:23:28 pm
Redpython I think that you could use a metifor in your 1st poem
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the boss
1/19/2013 04:33:53 am
redpython; I love your use of personification in the snow arrival. I also appreciate you giving it a title.
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theboss
1/17/2013 08:06:20 am
Sorry, the example I used from Chuck Norris did not copy so I did another one ...see Mr. Muffin's feedback.
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Mew
1/17/2013 08:18:45 am
4-line poem
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Zoral
1/17/2013 10:41:19 am
I liked how you used the word douses instead of showered or covered. The last line one your 5 line poem doesn't rhyme with the other lines.
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Mew
1/17/2013 12:08:27 pm
I know, I wanted that part of it to stand out so I did that on purpose. I think that it is doing its job of standing out.
❄Lily Seattle F.jones❄
1/18/2013 02:22:13 am
I like how you said " The wind beckons it into place"
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the boss
1/19/2013 04:37:07 am
Mew, your dirty dancing dog is full of fun. I wonder why the birds are flying at an unsteady pace.
jman
1/17/2013 08:31:04 am
#1 There once was a female Hippo
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jman
1/17/2013 08:35:07 am
Today i went to the park
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theboss
1/19/2013 04:41:02 am
Jman, I connect to the lark poem more than the other. I wonder how the last line 'you in sorrow' is related to the rest of the poem. What does it mean?
Bugsbunny
1/17/2013 08:51:42 am
The dog gobbles and munches
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theboss
1/19/2013 04:45:51 am
I see you used a simile Bugs. I love the 'big hug in the morning'. Can you substitute for 'great big' to augment the feel of the lullaby?
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1/17/2013 09:36:43 am
As the stars shine in the sky
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jman
1/17/2013 12:37:09 pm
rainbow that's a really good poem using rhyme and personification
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the boss
1/19/2013 04:48:39 am
Rainbow, Great visual...can you make it clear when the stars are crying?
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eeyore
1/17/2013 09:38:03 am
As I lay in my bed I hear the pitter-patter
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the boss
1/19/2013 04:54:56 am
Wow, Eeyore, what great imagery! Not only have you used effective vocabulary and personification but you are also telling a story.
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Rainbow Unicorn
1/17/2013 09:42:07 am
Good job Jman I really liked poem number one and 2 u rhymed really well I think u should use more metaphors and alliteration though
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Zoral
1/17/2013 10:26:23 am
The shimmering moon sings a lullaby,
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the boss
1/17/2013 01:50:24 pm
Zora,
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dwight
1/17/2013 10:31:18 am
Potato`s are for brunch and potato`s are for people and not animals.As well as humans to eat. Some humans like to ate potato`s as well as other people
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theboss
1/19/2013 04:52:02 am
Dwight, I like how you started the potatoes poem. Then I get confused. Can you revise it so your main ideas are understood. I am not sure if your alliteration is p or b in the second poem.
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Mr.Cookie
1/17/2013 10:49:02 am
5 Line:
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theboss
1/19/2013 05:06:21 am
It will be clearer when you take more time to edit.
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FlameMonkey
1/17/2013 11:47:32 am
Poems
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Mr. Muffin
1/17/2013 01:25:20 pm
I love the 'zapped' in the first line. Very good simile comparing the flower and the cloud. I like the personification when you say the kites will be dancing. Although I would only care about the poetic devices other than the spelling mistakes. I believe you meant to spell freash as fresh... Correct me if I'm wrong please.
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the boss
1/19/2013 05:10:28 am
Yes Mr. Muffin is a good editor. Although these are first attempts of poetry writing, it is very important to do our best to edit for correct spelling before we publish on our sites.
theboss
1/19/2013 05:12:24 am
Jimmy,
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B.o.b.
1/17/2013 12:17:33 pm
In the nature
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1/18/2013 01:28:43 am
This is a great poem. I see how you used personifacation.
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the boss
1/19/2013 05:14:41 am
I would love more information in the first poem. I think it would be clearer with more careful editing. I love the descriptive language in the second poem. What great imagery!
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fred weirdo
1/17/2013 12:24:58 pm
The dinosaur jumped like it was
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jman
1/17/2013 12:44:48 pm
next time you should put the words in lines like so...
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jman
1/17/2013 12:46:04 pm
when i said "The dinosaur fell over" i meant the dinosaur jumped
the boss
1/19/2013 05:16:04 am
I agree with jman and wish there was more content.
sonic
1/17/2013 01:17:44 pm
4 line poem
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theboss
1/17/2013 01:30:01 pm
Wow, I am so impressed by all of your first attempts at poetry writing. Your poems create a variety of responses...some are fun, some are serious, and some are thought provoking. Keep up the good work and thank you for your contributions. I can't wait to read your next poems.
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theboss
1/17/2013 01:45:41 pm
Sonic,
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Fawn Paris
1/17/2013 01:46:43 pm
4 line poem
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theboss
1/19/2013 05:20:37 am
Fawn Paris, I certainly feel a strong emotion when the cloud screams. I am a bit confused with the overall meaning though. The wind seems to be combatting the clouds...who is me? and it seems unfinished at the end.
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Fawn Paris
1/17/2013 01:54:36 pm
Zoral both your poems are really good I think in the second poem though you should switch staples for some thing else
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Tweetiegal
1/18/2013 12:07:36 am
She was standing
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theboss
1/19/2013 05:35:50 am
Wow...tweetiegal your first poem has amazing imagery and an intriguing story.
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Brittney tuey
1/18/2013 12:09:51 am
As beauty shines between the clouds,
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Tweetiegal
1/18/2013 12:15:55 am
I love your poem it is creating a image in my mind. You may want to use more devices in your poem though.
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theboss
1/19/2013 05:34:13 am
I would love to see more images like the 'sing to perfection'.
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Chuck Norris
1/18/2013 12:40:34 am
The crocodile flapped
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the boss
1/19/2013 05:38:05 am
Chuck,
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1/18/2013 01:21:14 am
the kite sympathizes as its waving through the air
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theboss
1/19/2013 05:40:23 am
I have too many questions and wish there were a few more clues. Your thoughts are diverse...eg. Is it spring even though there is snow?
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1/18/2013 01:25:41 am
the tennis ball jumped away into the myths of the world
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Birttney Tuey
1/18/2013 01:39:53 am
The mystical clouds reappear suddenly,
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theboss
1/19/2013 05:42:36 am
Wow strong attitude here. I am a bit confused with the last line though.
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1/18/2013 01:41:17 am
The wind whispered in my ear as it ran past,
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Brittney Tuey
1/18/2013 01:43:30 am
Sonic:
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lily
1/18/2013 02:13:03 am
The sun embraced me when i stepped outside,and than it whisped past me leaving a beaming heat in it's trail, the moon rised dancing in the sky leaving a bright glow around it. and now i sit there waiting for one more embrace.
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dwight
1/18/2013 02:21:29 am
where is your 5 line poem
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the boss
1/19/2013 05:47:58 am
You are achieving some powerful visuals with your language. It would help the readers' understanding if you take a bit of extra time to edit before publishing.
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Rainbow Unicorn
1/20/2013 12:25:34 am
this is my 2nd poem except it has five line so yeah
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